We can have better, fuller, and richer relationships by using what we learned about working through our emotions and feelings and applying it to our relationships.

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Exercises

Exercise 1: 

Remember a time when you were criticized without your asking for negative comments.

How did it feel? 

Were the comments helpful?

Did they make you feel closer to the person who criticized you?

Why? / Why not?

Exercise 2:

Remember a time when you were given advice you didn’t ask for. 

Was that advice helpful?

Were you happy to receive it? 

Did it bring you closer the person who gave it?

Why? / Why not?

Exercise 3:

Remember a time when you were feeling inner pain and others tried to help by offering generalized positives.

Were these comments helpful?

Did they bring you closer to those who offered them? 

Why? / Why not?

Exercise 4:

Do you commonly criticize others, even when you’re not asked for your opinion? 

Do you commonly give advice when you’re not asked for it?

Do you regularly try to cheer up others who are hurting by telling them they are strong or there is meaning to their difficulties?

If these don’t help, are you willing to change?

Practice not criticizing when not asked for a comment.

Practice not giving advice when not asked for it.

Practice holding the space for another. Be with them when they are hurting.

Exercise 5:

Does such holding back seem like a loving act?

Does holding back from unasked for comments and criticisms make you feel better?

Does such holding back build richer and deeper relationships.?

As you practice this regularly, do you feel better? Does it build better relationships? With time, does a place of joy open in you?